Imagine going through life without family to count on
Imagine going through life not having someone next to you day or night.
No love from a man who called himself father but whose memory of him
still lingers till this day. How he would come home and lift me whilst
swirling me around. 
was a burden, perhaps, because one son had died when he was a baby but
was the right color, and another was completely blind , mute, and deaf forced to live
in an old people's residency until his death in his twenties.
Dreaming as a little child to remove her eyes and give him sight, but he was taken away
from her.
My young and precious mother who came to a cold country in search of the
utopian American dream neither of us achieved.
Unexpectedly, decades later, having to recover her lifeless body when she was but 51 years old in a state known for its unkind residents. A sudden and untimely death that I myself saw in dreams, but warned her about,yet, she did not listen to my cries. And whose last words to me were "don't worry things will get better."
This little girl became a beautiful young lady who fell madly in love in the country were bulls are slaughtered and where the sun also rises.
a first love whom she walked away from fearing
to live in a strange land.
Ending up in a marriage to someone so unworthy of her love and who scarred
her for a lifetime.
having a child who has never connected with her as a parent...and who has
preferred the very same parent who destroyed her dreams and youth. A child so filled with
resentment towards the mother who gave everything for him.
Even if I had to live with someone else just to put food on the table and help
give her child a private education just as she herself was fortunate
to have.
Breaking the chains that enslaved her to this ogre for over a fool's decade. The criminal of my
intellectual senses
Who prevented me from feeling loved and fatten like a lamb about to be
sacrificed to ensure no other
man would look upon her horrid body and wretched self.
However, a Svengali disguised as an Arthurian knight appeared miraculously
simply to take her all the way to the heavens and
made her realized that love was possible above all things to the point of Nirvana. Pure ecstasy he infused in all her pores...allowing her to faint in his arms as he carried her inside his golden chariot bound for the sun,
simply to allow her to burn like Icarus upon abandoning her in her throne while he chattered her heart into a zillion divine and miniscule pieces.
Bet you can't imagine living the life I have been living, can you?
At a tender age of 17 began a successful career that came tumbling down 15 years later after the death of my distant mother.
Pursuing a college degree when all odds were against her.
Now imagine the strength behind this little girl who reached for the stars.
Traveled the world. Became some sort of a national sensation throughout China.
Became a teacher and inspired many
Became a professor and continues to inspire those who do not believe in themselves
Continues to study to obtain her elusive Master's Degree [for the second time]
Learned how to speak 5 languages and a bit of Mandarin, Chinese to communicate with people who simply adored her.
Yet, Still struggles to survive...nobody around her caring to offer a hand... everyone listens yet nobody cares.
Yes, this little girl is me and she means a lot to me, for she has never ever given up and still has that smile that will never be broken... I don't allow anyone to hurt for she has slayed many foolish dragons, but inside this little girl lost dreams of being embraced and protected from harm while being held by the hand before then end of her time.
